i wonder a lot in my thought

to the stars i rest my vision

you, the facet of my world

will always be my devotion

As deep as the sea can be

and the bead fizzle in the nimbus

deterioration has skinned me

slimming the strength in my constitution

chimera rose

take me to your Arcadia

infect me with your Euphoria

outlying the doomed terra firma

grab my paw away

from this meaningless fiasco

to the dwelling

where our love can grow

when the light of Utopia had dimmed

and i stitched the new fresh scar

you came and rise me up

giving the earnest words i heard so far

with this will i will surge

to consent you with nothing but jubilation

and for being a jerk

do grant me your apologization

when this sphere rumble 

and the mountains disintegrate

worry not, my chimera rose

you will always be my devotion

chimera rose

Oh mawar khayalan
Bawaku terbang tinggi
Jauh rentasan awan
Dari duniaku yang hampa
Kecewa tak bermakna
Semua hanyalah tipu daya
Modenisasi hanya..
Untuk haiwan di rimba..
Globalisasi cuma..
Jadi tuan si hamba..
Ooo monarki untuk apa..
Badut-badut istana..
Lalalala
Oh mawar khayalan

Life.
is it fair?
is it always like what you wanted to be?
Fate.
Fuck fate.
Fuck life.

Me? I have been fucked by life for three times. Just in this years. This motherfucking years. The fuck did I do wrong? The fuck did i fucked up to be like this? Do i deserve this? Do i fucking living life what I wanted it to be?

Hell no.

Am i asking too much? Am i hoping too much? I just want to give me mum a better life. I want to buy things for her. I wanted to make her happy. Make her proud of me. Is it too much to ask for? Is it? For some people, they'll be like "Man this guy never grateful of what he have. But fucking who are you to tell me how to live my life? Ain't nobody want to live under the bridge. Boy am I disappointed. Ya think? Bloody hell yeah!! . I worked my ass off for that shit. And what did I get? Oh my fucking God, we are freakin sorry we decided not to take this to next level, You're a dipshit. well thanks, MADAM. Fuck you and your life.

Well at the end of the day, there is really nothing we can do about that. curl up in your bed, cry yourself to sleep and be prepared t o face another chapter of this miserable life.

Praise to God, Amen.